


Geese...?

by SleepingReader



Series: The Terry Pratchett Challenge - 31 days, 400 words a day - [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Fantasy, Geese, Mysterious Eggs, Wyverns, farms, lesbian couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 23:43:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19451935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepingReader/pseuds/SleepingReader
Summary: A parcel arrives on a perfectly normal farm.Inside it are five perfectly abnormal eggs.First of all, they're neon.Second of all, they're too bright to look at.Third of all, there is DEFINITELY something inside.How is Jenny going to tell her wife?Terry Pratchett Challenge, 400 words every day, day 3.





	Geese...?

_Mail from: Jenny@acefarms.com_  
_Mail to: info@geeese.com_  
_Subject: Inquiry about recent purchase_

Dear Sir/Madam,  
I am writing to you today because…

_Mail from: Jenny@acefarms.com_  
_Mail to: info@geeese.com_  
_Subject: Is this for real?_

Dear Sir, Madam.  
Look, I don’t know if you’re taking the piss, but

_Mail from: Jenny@acefarms.com_  
_Mail to: info@geeese.com_  
_Subject: WHAT THE FUCK_

Dear Sir/Madam,  
WHAT THE FUCK.

_Mail from: Jenny@acefarms.com_  
_Mail to: info@geeese.com_  
_Subject: Clarification_

Dear Sir/Madam,  
I’m not sure the eggs you sold me were geese eggs. I don’t know why you goljdLHD.JDNJKDAS.BJAS/KLJdab.jksd.

Jenny lay her head on her table with a slight thump, making the eggs in their incubator rattle a little. She had just wanted to get some geese for her farm. Five little geese, just to keep intruders out. Jenny liked geese. They were loud and strange. She liked loud and strange, she did! But she also knew her geese eggs from her chicken eggs from her ostrich eggs from her goldfinch eggs. And these were none of the above.

First of all, the eggs were neon coloured. She first figured they’d have neon colors painted on them as a sort of unique selling manoeuvre. But no gentle washing or rubbing could get the dye off. Blue, pink, green, yellow, orange.  
Second of all, no egg Jenny had ever known of actually hurt to watch. These eggs were BRIGHT neon. Disco neon. The neon of the light-up sketches her little brother Ryan wore.  
She had ordered the eggs in the mail. Geese eggs. For her farm.  
She had gotten them, had incubated them immediately, getting them out of the warm blanketed basket.  
She had only noticed them starting to glow an hour ago.  
How the FUCK was she going to tell her wife?  
She imagined the conversation.  
‘Hi honey, welcome home from the business trip! You remember those geese eggs we ordered? Well, they sent us Easter eggs. Why am I keeping them incubated, you ask?  
Well…’

She had held one up to a flashlight, and there definitely was something in there. Moving. She even thought she saw feathers.  
Maybe just… really weird geese?

Jenny decided to call it a night. She checked on the chicken coop, petted the cow. Crawled into bed, turned off the nightlight and went to sleep.  
A couple of hours later, her wife came home. First smelling of traffic jam, then smelling of actual jam, her washed hair raspberry scented on the pillow. Jenny curled around her, muttering something soft into Renata’s neck.  
‘What’s that about the eggs, love?’  
‘Fucken neon bitches. Eggs…’ Jenny said, slinging an arm over her wife.  
‘Go back to sleep, Jen’ Renata said, chuckling.

Surrounded by heat and farm smells, the eggs gently began to crack.

Renata was off again the next morning, chatting on the phone to a potential client. Real estate was booming these days, and Renata’s company was on a roll. Which left Jenny to care for the animals.  
Just like every morning, Jenny made her rounds around the little farm. Milked the cow. Fed the horse. Fed the chickens. Checked on the lambs. Collected the eggs.  
Then, with a deep breath, she opened the door to the kitchen, three eggs in her hands for breakfast.  
She glanced at the incubator. Yawned. Put toast in the toaster.  
Looked back at the incubator.  
Threw her hands up so hard the eggs splattered against the ceiling.  
‘RENATA!!’

_Mail from: Jenny@acefarms.com_  
_Mail to: info@geeese.com_  
_Subject: Uhm…_

Dear Sir/Madam,  
… I don’t know how to tell you this…

Jenny slammed the computer shut again.  
‘I’m not telling them.’ She decided. Renata nodded, her eyes fixed on the incubator. Her client could wait.  
‘I’d sound stupid for not knowing, or stupid for making stuff up.’  
Renata nodded again, distracted. Was it a foot or a wing coming out of the egg?  
Jenny joined her.  
‘It’s a wing, isn’t it.’ Jenny said.  
‘Yah.’  
‘It isn’t a birds wing, is it?’  
‘Nah.’

And they weren’t. Because at that moment, the neon yellow shell shattered, and out tumbled a rather wet-looking neon yellow winged lizard creature. It hiccuped. Sparks flew out of its mouth.  
‘Oh good.’ Jenny said, feeling like she was about to faint. ‘We hatched a Pokemon.’  
Then the green egg hatched and promptly dissolved the floor of the incubator, as well as a large portion of the table.  
Jenny fainted.

She woke up to a splash of water and a reptilian face in her vision. It was blue.  
‘Jenny?’ The reptile asked in the voice of her wife.  
‘Don’t tell me. The blue one does water?’  
Renata nodded. The neon blue creature lolled its tongue out. It was very small, and held between Renata’s thumb and forefinger.  
‘What the fuck are they?’ Jenny asked, sitting up. She felt a lot better. Like a comedian had once said: Adult life is already so goddamn weird, this might as well happen. Fainting had reset her brain.  
Renata gently raised one of its wings.  
‘I think it’s a dragon.’ She said.  
‘Wyvern.’ Jenny’s mind corrected. ‘Dragons have got more feet.’ She held out a finger for the blue reptile to rub against. It cooed. The hatching fluid stuck to her finger, much like dried egg white sticks to a plate.  
‘Wyvern needs a bath.’

Bathing five wyverns was easier than expected. They all seemed rather immune to each others outbursts, and the yellow one only electrocuted the water mildly.  
They had expected the neon wyverns to be scaly. But they were anything but.  
Washed and dried, the neon hatchlings were so fluffy, you could barely see where wyvern ended and hair began.  
They also seemed very keen on the geese food. The orange one preferred it cooked. But it took care of that itself.

Jenny and Renata sat on the couch a while later, their five additions to the family laying napping on their lap and in their hoodies.  
Renata’s phone rang. She gently extracted it from underneath the pink one, who produced a small puff of iridescent smoke as it moved. Jenny could only hear her wife’s part of the conversation.  
‘Hello, Renata Young speaking? Yes. Yes, we got them. No, they hatched… _Exchange_ them for other eggs?’  
Then, a long silence. Renata looked over at Jenny, whose armhair was being raised by the one they called Shocky Balboa.  
‘…What do you mean?’ Renata asked, tickling Hot Pink Nimbus, Babey under the chin. ‘They’re perfectly normal geese.’

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Names and powers of the wyverns:
> 
> Shocky Balboa - Neon yellow, electricity  
> Hot Pink Nimbus, Babey - Pink, produces clouds  
> Acid Pop - Green, acid  
> LilBastard(SetMySkirtOnFire-by Fall Out Boy) - orange, fire  
> mOist - Blue, water.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Geese...?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24276622) by [elaineofshalott (LadyofMisrule)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyofMisrule/pseuds/elaineofshalott)




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